At the recent CPAC convention a straw poll conducted of the attendees resulted in Trump getting some 70% of the votes. The DNC has strongly objected to these results. In a statement issued through from their Pyongyang office, the DNC said the following:
“This is an intolerable provocation and a serious threat to the security of America and the rest of the world. But we all know that the people who cast the votes don’t decide an election, the people who count the votes do. We demand an investigation into the obvious fraud involved in this poll.”
CNN reports that Christopher Steele has submitted pictures of a known Putin associate handing a briefcase to a Trump supporter that he suspects was filled with straws. There was no indication of which country the alleged straws were produced in, or if they were purchased legally. In some states straw purchases are illegal.
“Why do they use straws anyways? Don’t they know that just ends up in the oceans? They should use pieces of pasta instead! We should obviously have more straw regulations. People should have to register their straws, and have limits on how many straws they can buy each month.”
